friends

That's the kind of picture that you think is cute. It's so sweet that all these boys, ages 6-9, are all still in the innocent zone of being able to spontaneously group hug when they are excited to be all going somewhere together.

But to me, it means that too, but also something wholly different. It means that my kid, who has never had a true group of friends (or at least one that he wasn't using as a background or sounding board for his obsession du jour) actually has a group of little boy buddies.

And on top of it all, these are our neighbors. They live just a few houses away, and we have all summer to spend with them! Right this second, as I speak, he is outside somewhere in our neighborhood with them, playing something with them that does not involve a screen. They are sweet kids, accepting and fun but without being so boyish as to turn off Mr. Tech Club Chess Playing Self-Proclaimed Nerd, but boyish enough to encourage riding Big Wheels down a just-dangerous-enough-to-make-me-nervous hill. But I will peek through my fingers as he does it and forbid myself to forbid reckless Big Wheel driving. For the love of all that's holy, he's outside! And playing with friends!

I don't know what's caused the turn. I do know that it started with summer, and with this blog, but I don't know what particular factor it is. If I had to guess at something, I'm thinking that just the last 10 days have been a really huge confidence booster for him: He has interesting things to say that people read and respond to! He can hit a golf ball! He can go a full day without a video game and not die a thousand deaths! He can learn a new skill and concentrate at will! He can try new foods and experiences and live through it! It must be quite a rush. I just want to find the magical formula that makes all the courage stick.

Today we went to hit some golf balls, and as we entered the front gate, I caught his eye in the rearview mirror, and he was just sitting in the backseat smiling to himself. I asked him what he was smiling about, and he said, "Golf." How'd you like to be so dang excited about something so simple and live so completely in the moment that you sit and beam just because you are on your way to do something that you really love? Note to self...

And he took great pride in showing his sister how to hold the club and swing. I mean, who DOESN'T like to be better than your big sister at something, right? We stopped to talk to someone in the pro shop and he walked right up to the man and held out his hand, looked him in the eye, shook it and said, "My name's Truman. T-R-U-M-A-N." (I don't think that I've ever said that he had to spell his name when shaking hands with someone, but whatever.) This whole social hand shaking thing is something we've been practicing, and this is the first time that he has initiated it on his own. And you could tell he was very proud of himself.

We went to the Tennessee State Museum yesterday afternoon with a bunch of other kids. (Yes, he's kissing his friend in the picture. But as I told the friend, hey, it's better kissing than hitting). And it was super fun, but it was the kind of thing for him that is usually a complete overload for him and will cause him to melt down later just because. And, yes, as soon as we got home there was a meltdown, and Truman and I had to go home to chill while the other kids got into slip n slide mode. He immediately went into screen-need, his ultimate safety net. If he can hide in video game land, it's safe, it's predictable, it's controllable and it allows his mind to go into an auto-pilot that I assume is pretty comforting when you have a really active and jittery mind.

But I wouldn't let him. And here's the good thing: After a few minutes of not being able to pull himself together, he (he not me) had the grand idea of getting a snack and drink and just sitting quietly in his room. For real. This has never happened in the history of Truman happenings. And then most most most importantly, he recognized that it made him feel better. Voila! Brain connection made, information stored for retrieval at a later date. Feel crabby and overstimulated? Snack, drink, rest.