Truman: I cry. I feel like I'm sick.
Mom: What kinds of things make you frustrated?
Truman: Today I got frustrated because we were doing this thing where we found things in the sand with little paintbrushes. But they're supposed to be using a shovel and a big paintbrush. Actually just a shovel. The big paintbrush would just be for dusting off what they find. Like an archaeologist. The little paintbrushes weren't working, but other people were finding things and I wasn't. I started missing you and wanted to go home. Then I started crying.
Mom: Then what happened?
Truman: I can't remember.
Mom: Do you remember crying for a long time today?
Truman: Yes. And that other time there.
Mom: What thing made you feel better when you got frustrated?
Truman: Talking to you on the phone.
Mom: What makes you feel better when you talk to me?
Truman: I just like to talk to you.
Mom: What things do you think would make you feel better if I wasn't there?
Truman: Screens.
Mom: That's not really an option all the time.
Truman: You do portable ones. I see people using their iPhones there.
Mom: Well, there are other things to make you feel better, too. What can you think of? Do you remember the list you made last week about what makes you happy? What about any of those things? They aren't screens.
Truman: My Garfield books.
Mom: We should say thank you to the people who gave those to you.
Truman: Thanks, I really like them. I've read them every day.
Truman: That was a long time ago.
Mom: Does it make it easier to say you are sad when you can tell me that way?
Truman: Yes.
Mom: Is it easier than talking?
Truman: Yes.
Mom: How do you think it makes other people feel when you get really frustrated like that?
Truman: I don't know.
Mom: You know, it makes me sad sometimes when you are frustrated and you won't talk to me and tell me how I can help you. What can we do to work on that?
Truman: I don't know, Mom. I don't know.
Mom: Maybe we can work on that more this summer.
Truman: Yes.
Mom: Let's go eat cookies.
Oh, Truman, I'm so glad your mom loves you so much that she can help you work through these frustrations. When she was a little girl and I was the mama in this picture, she would get frustrated sometimes too. And, sometimes, she'd just go into her room for a long time without telling me what was wrong. When I'd ask her, she didn't want to talk, but when she finally did, she always felt so much better. I think, you'll find out that if you tell your teachers what is frustrating you, they might be able to help you out. Why don't you try that the next time this happens. You know your mom and dad love you very much. Pa and I love you very much, and we are so proud of you and how smart you are. Maybe this summer, you can find a way to talk to mom and your teachers at Encore camp and work through some of your frustrations. I love you - Grammy
ReplyDeleteTruman,
ReplyDeleteIt's such a hard thing to realize when you are getting frustrated, I think. I remember when my son would get very frustrated, very quickly. Over time, he started to realize that he was tired, hungry, angry, or whatever. Sometimes he still gets pretty frustrated, but he can explain it to me now usually. I think sometimes it scares other people when you get upset, because they want to help you or they might think you are hurt. They don't know what to do to help you.
Is there a way that you can pause when you feel the frustration coming on and explain it briefly? Like, "I'm angry right now." or "This isn't right!"
You know, it is like those thought balloons from Garfield. Somehow John has ESP and can read Garfield's mind, but most people can't. Moms are pretty good at reading those thought balloons, but other people aren't. I think it's called MOM ESP. :)
Does reading help you calm down? My son often has his head in a book, and also really enjoys screen time. I think books can be like screen time. I think it helps him shut out the noise, smells, or craziness.
Does music help calm you down? My son has some ear phones that shut out the other noises.
Have you ever tried swinging on a swing when you are angry? My son really likes that one, or a hammock. It's relaxing. He also really likes to twirl on a tire swing.
Have you ever tried a squeezy ball in your hand? My son has a bowl of them in the kitchen that he plays with. Some of them have lights when you squeeze it. I'm not sure that it helps him when he is upset, but it does help him concentrate his wiggles into his hand, if that makes sense.
I'm glad you made it to ENCORE camp, even though it can be hard. Hope you have a better day soon.